Funny Toasts

You have two agarbattis on a boat but no source of fire. How will you light an agarbattis if you are in the middle of the river?”

Some answers are:

1) Throw an agarbatti into the river. It make the boat lighter. Use it to light agarbatti

2) Throw an agarbatti in air and catch it. Catches win matches. Use these matches to light agarbatti

3) Take some river water, let it fall drop by drop. You know that “Tip-tip barsa pani, pani ne aag lagai.”. Use it to light the agarbatti.

Funny Man ik ped pe chada. Upar baithey Monkey ne poocha: Upar kyon aaya hai?

Funny Man: Apple khane.

Monkey: Yeh to aam ka ped hai.

Funny Man: Pata hai, Apple saath laaya hoon.

Santa: Why didn’t you marry?

Banta: I was searching for an
ideal match.

Santa: So, you didn’t find an ideal girl?

Banta: I found one.

Santa: Then?

Banta: She was also searching for an ideal match.

During romance, a new Russian wife talks to her husband.

Wife: Our new neighbor always kisses his wife when he goes to work, why don’t you do that?

Husband: How can I? I don’t even know her.

Wife: Sweet Heart ! When you remove your specks you look like the same cute guy whom I married 20 years back.

Husband: Yes dear, when I remove my specks, you also look like the same charming girl whom I married 20 years back.

An old Nigger (negro) buys hearing aids from a doctor.

Doctor: Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased.

Nigger: Oh, I haven’t told my family yet. I just sit around them and listen to their conversations. In a month, I’ve changed my will three times!

Japanese Prime Minister: Give me Bihar for 3 years, we will it into Japan.

Laloo: Give me Japan for 3 months, I will turn it into Bihar.

After becoming the CM of Bihar, Laalu ji decides to pose for a picture along with a herd of buffaloes with his elbows resting on the back of the cattle.

Next day the photo appears in
a newspaper with caption:

“Laalu ji, third from left”.

A Kid calls the Help Desk to complain a computer problem.

Kid: When I type computer password, it just shows star star star star. Whatz the joke?

Help Desk: Dear kid, those stars are to protect you, so that if a person standing behind, he can’t read your password.

Kid: Yeah, but stars appear even when there is no one standing behind me.

Postman: I have to come 5 miles to deliver you this packet.

Lalu: Why did you come so far. Instead you could have posted it…